Chemistry Jokes

Who says science jokes are not funny? Below you can see some of the best Chemistry jokes we know, along with short explanations to the more obscure of them.

Do you know any funny Chemistry jokes yourself? Let us know in the comment section below.


C1.

Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." He doesn't react.

Explanation

Helium is noble gas and noble gases do not react with other chemicals.


C2.

So oxygen and potassium went on a date. It went OK.

Explanation

The symbol for oxygen is O and the symbol for potassium is K.


C3.

"What do you do with a sick chemist?"

"If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium."

Explanation

Helium, Curium and Barium are chemical elements, which sound like "heal him", "cure him" and "burry him".


C4.

"What's the first thing you should learn in chemistry?"

"Never lick the spoon."


C5.

"Why are chemists perfect for solving problems?"

"Because they have all the solutions."

Explanation

"Solution" has two meanings - as in problem solution and chemical solution.


C6.

"How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?"

"Ask them to pronounce 'unionized'."

Explanation

The word "unionized" has two meanings, which are pronounced differently. One of them is "characterized by the presence of labor unions", and the other one is "not converted into ions".


C7.

A weed scientist goes into a shop. He asks:

"Hey, you got any of that inhibitor of 3-phosphoshikimate 1-carboxyvinyl transferase?"

Shopkeeper:

"You mean Roundup?"

Scientist: "Yeah, that's it. I can never remember that dang name."


C8.

My teacher threw Sodium Chloride at me.

That's a salt.

Explanation

"A salt" (Sodium Chlorid) sounds like "assault".


C9.

"If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate."

Explanation

The precipitate is substance separated from the solution during a chemical process.


C10.

Conversation between two atoms:

"I think I've lost an electron."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm positive."

Explanation

Since electrons are negative particles, when an atom loses one, it becomes positive charged.


C11.

"I tried to tell a chemistry joke at school last week. No reaction."

Explanation

Wordplay with the phrase "chemical reaction".


C12.

"Why can't you trust atoms?"

"Because they make up everything."

Explanation

Everything in the world is made of atoms.


C13.

A neutron walks into a bar, asks how much a drink costs. The bartender replies: "For you, no charge."

Explanation

Protons have positive charge, electrons have negative charge, and neutrons have no/neutral charge.


C14.

"What is a cation afraid of?"

"Dogions."


C15.

"What does a subatomic duck say?"

"Quark!"

Explanation

Quarks are subatomic particles.


C16.

"Why did the bear dissolve in water?"

"Because it was polar."

Explanation

Polar solutes dissolve in water.


C17.

"What do you call an educated tube?"

"A graduated cylinder."


C18.

"Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I will have some H2O." The second one says, "I will have some H2O too." He dies.

Explanation

"H2O" means "water". "H2O too" sounds like "H2O2", which means hydrogen peroxide and is deadly.


C19.

"Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN!"

Explanation

Sodium's symbol is "Na". "Na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!" is the intro theme from the classic Batman TV series.


C20.

 

"What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron?"

"A KNiFe."

Explanation

K, Ni and Fe are the symbols for potassium, nickel and iron in the periodic table.