Chemistry Jokes

Who says science jokes are not funny? Below you can see some of the best Chemistry jokes we know, along with short explanations to the more obscure of them.

Do you know any funny Chemistry jokes yourself? Let us know in the comment section below.


Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” He doesn’t react.

Explanation
Helium is noble gas and noble gases do not react with other chemicals.


So oxygen and potassium went on a date. It went OK.

Explanation
The symbol for oxygen is O and the symbol for potassium is K.


“What do you do with a sick chemist?”
“If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.”

Explanation
Helium, Curium and Barium are chemical elements, which sound like “heal him”, “cure him” and “burry him”.


“What’s the first thing you should learn in chemistry?”
“Never lick the spoon.”

Explanation
Chemists use spoons to mix (often) poisonous solutions.


“Why are chemists perfect for solving problems?”
“Because they have all the solutions.”

Explanation
“Solution” has two meanings – as in problem solution and chemical solution.


“How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?”
“Ask them to pronounce ‘unionized’.”

Explanation
The word “unionized” has two meanings, which are pronounced differently. One of them is “characterized by the presence of labor unions”, and the other one is “not converted into ions”.


A weed scientist goes into a shop. He asks:
“Hey, you got any of that inhibitor of 3-phosphoshikimate 1-carboxyvinyl transferase?”
Shopkeeper:
“You mean Roundup?”
Scientist: “Yeah, that’s it. I can never remember that dang name.”


“My teacher threw Sodium Chloride at me. That’s a salt.”

Explanation
“A salt” (Sodium Chloride) sounds like “assault”.


“If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate.”

Explanation
The precipitate is a substance separated from the solution during a chemical process.


A conversation between two atoms:
“I think I’ve lost an electron.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m positive.”

Explanation
Since electrons are negative particles, when an atom loses one, it becomes positively charged.


“I tried to tell a chemistry joke at school last week. No reaction.”

Explanation
Wordplay with the phrase “chemical reaction”.


“Why can’t you trust atoms?”
“Because they make up everything.”

Explanation
Everything in the world is made of atoms.


A neutron walks into a bar, asks how much a drink costs. The bartender replies: “For you, no charge.”

Explanation
Protons have positive charge, electrons have negative charge, and neutrons have no/neutral charge.


“What is a cation afraid of?”
“Dogions.”

Explanation
A cation is a positively charged ion. This is a wordplay joke with cats and dogs.


“What does a subatomic duck say?”
“Quark!”

Explanation
Quarks are subatomic particles.


“Why did the bear dissolve in water?”
“Because it was polar.”

Explanation
Polar solutes dissolve in water.


“What do you call an educated tube?”
“A graduated cylinder.”

Explanation
A graduated cylinder a tube used by chemists for measuring liquids.


“Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says, “I will have some H2O.” The second one says, “I will have some H2O too.” He dies.

Explanation
“H2O” means “water”. “H2O too” sounds like “H2O2”, which means hydrogen peroxide and is deadly.


“Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN!”

Explanation
Sodium’s symbol is “Na”. “Na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!” is the intro theme from the classic Batman TV series.


“What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel, and iron?”
“A KNiFe.”

Explanation
K, Ni, and Fe are the symbols for potassium, nickel, and iron in the periodic table.

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